THE LORD OF THE OTHER RINGS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE?
by Hokou777Kitsune
Summary: When a new retarded fellowship hunts down the other rings of power, lot's of things can happen. Hope you enjoy it...
1. Chapter 1

THE LORDS OF OTHER RINGS:

A/U: MOST OF THE CHARACTERS AND PLACES I USED ARE FROM TOLKIEN

CHAPTER 1: CONCERNING IDIOTS

The fourth age has come, and Legolas and Gimli had decided to follow their friends in the west. Gimli was waiting near the ships, while Legolas was clarifying their tickets.

"Hey Legolas, the ships are about to leave!" cried the dwarf.

"Coming Gimli!" replied the elf prince.

As they were about to leave Elrond's son, Elladan and Elrohir came and dismounted from their horses.

"Hey Legolas and Gimli, wanna come on an adventure?" asked the twins.

"NO! I'm spending my immortality in the west!" replied the annoyed elf prince.

"Continue, I'm interested..." replied the dwarf who was rethinking of going with Legolas.

"I and my bro are looking for companions for an adventure to look for the dwarf and elf rings!"

"Well, aren't the elf rings with Elrond, Galadriel, and Gandalf, who are in the west? It's not like you blew their ship...or did you?" asked the elf who had piercing eyes.

"We...sort of...used a firecracker that was too strong for the ship..."replied Elrohir.

"Well, what was it?" asked the dwarf who started to like the two.

"The men of earth said that C-4 was a nice firecracker. I told Elladan to use a Proton Bomb from a Sith lord, but he wouldn't listen."

"C-4?! That's a bomb!" exclaimed Legolas putting his hand on his head.

"Wow!" cried the dwarf, as if he knew nothing.

"Well Legolas, you're all alone, I'm joining these two cool guys, I guess elves aren't so gay as you!" said the dwarf as he went along with Elladan and Elrohir who were about to journey into the south.

"Wait for me!" cried the helpless elf as he joined along with the group.

"So, where are we goin?" asked Gimli.

"We never know, well, why we don't pass by Bree, I'm sure we'll find Merry and Pippin. They could join too! Plus, I packed all the Harad ale I could find in Rivendell."

"Tell me you two, why would there be ale from Harad in Rivendell?" asked the elf on the journey.

"Well Legolas, there are many things in Rivendell that dad does that we don't have any idea with. Like, treasures, and, some reproductive health stuff we found on his closet, a picture of one of our elf maidens naked. A list of sites that we discovered not suitable for us, a picture of Arwen dancing on a pole, signed by herself, well there are many things that daddy hid from us. We just found the ale buried on the ground by our dog, Spark."

"Right, and why are you telling me this? Oh, wait, don't answer that."

So the four companions rode off to Bree, at the Prancing Pony...


	2. Chapter 2

THE LORDS OF OTHER RINGS

A/N: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHRACTERS EXCEPT FOR A FEW

I GOT IT FROM TOLKIEN'S BOOKS AND OTHERS LIKE BRAM STOKER

CHAPTER 2: AT THE SIGN OF DRUNKEN PONIES

"Ok, let's call it, the fellowship of extraordinary beings!"

"No Elrohir, there's nothing extraordinary about us!" cried the elf prince as they walked through the realms of Arnor and Eriador.

"Why don't we call it the dwarf hoarders!" Gimli cried.

"Gimli, we're also looking for elf rings!"

"Sorry."

"Ok, just a few meters from here is Bree, now I haven't been there, but I don't like to see drunken hobbits dancing on tables!" exclaimed the elf prince as they rode by.

"Oh I got it Elrohir, we'll be the avengers!" cried Elladan to his brother.

"Bro, who are we avenging? Oh, there we go, Bree! And btw, I think we should be called the Justice League!"

"You two are idiots! Justice League already exists, I watch it in TV when I was in Mirkwood. Ok, so what are we going to do in Bree?" asked the elf prince.

"Well Legolas, I don't know why we're in Bree, but I'm sure we'll find somehobbits to join us!"

"Like, like, like a try-out! That's a terrific plan Elladan my brother! We can have a try-out of hobbits fit for the band!"

So the company went off to the Prancing Pony. Well, everyone was looking at them from every direction, because in Bree, they seldom get Elven or Dwarf visitors. Hobbits in Bree have something against the other big folk aside from men like Aragorn.

"Hey you Elves! What the Void are you maki'n a child doin here?!" cried a fat old drunk hobbit.

"What did you just say…fatso?" exclaimed the angry elf prince as he drew out an arrow from his quiver.

"Hey you niggers, wanna try-out in our try-out?" asked Elladan to the rest of the hobbits.

Well, there was sort of a fight between Butterbur and Legolas, while the twins and Gimli were holding try-outs.

"Ok, and what makes you think you're fit for the expedition to find the other rings?" asked Elrohir while Elladan was looking at the list.

"Well you dumdums, I think I'm fit for the job cuz I like to sleep with elves!"

"Next please!" cried Elrohir as Elladan crossed out another applicant.

"So…why do you think you're fit for the job?"

"Err…I like smoking on my butt, sleeping with different races is my hobby, beatin the crap out of men and hobbits are another thing I like. Also makin fun of the king of Gondor, that's the best. Like shouting out his secrets with the queen…"

"Stop! Next please!" cried Elrohir as Elladan crossed out another name.

"Hey you drunkards of Bree, we just saw a bunch of horses from Rivendell, let's make 'em drunk!" cried two hobbits as they came in.

"Ai!" cried the others as they rushed out.

"Ho ho and a bucket of Haradrim Rhum!" cried Gimlias he took one bottle of Harad ale. All stopped and looked at Gimli.

"Oo…"said the twins.

"Oh…crap!" said Legolas.

Then all the hobbits started to charge right at Gimli. Then a riot in the Prancing Pony occurred. The twins slaughtering hobbits, other get pushed and some say, "hey that's my man, attack!" They all tried slaughtering each other as the two hobbits were outside letting the horses drink some ale.

The four companions rushed out and saw the two.

"I'm gonna bet the crap out of you!" said Legolas.

"Wait Legolas, it's Merry and Pippin!" cried Elladan as the two rushed to them.

Well, the drunken horses attacked them like crazy! The two hobbits tried to escape but Legolas fired arrows right through them.

"F***K you Legolas you killed them!" cried Gimli as he drew out his axe and went back in the bar to slaughter some hobbits.

""Damn you horses!" cried Elladan while fighting up some horses.

Then all of a sudden, someone cried out, "there's a bunch of drunken horses from Rohan, they're coming this way!"

Everybody panicked as horses from nowhere "attacked" the village drunk. The hobbits put up a last stand as what remains of them. Well, as hobbits, they got crushed and killed. The riders had no control and were getting killed by their own animals!

"OMG!" cried Legolas as a group of horses were coming right at them. The twins were busy fighting of the other horses. Gimli was busy killing and drinking in the bar.

"Merry, Pippin, what the makin a child are you doin. Oh, by the way, sorry about the arrow." said Legolas while trying to heal the helpless hobbit, Merry.

"Bloddy hell, you nearly killed him!" cried Pippin.

Well, there was not much time, but the companions managed to be in one piece for some time. Merry, died, Pippin went back home, but Butterbur was still there. He was holding two butcher knives. Gimli, he fell unconscious after barfing so much from drinking and killing at the same time.

The twins have both black eyes and injured bodies, while Legolas was being chased by horses. Then someone showed up and fired a bullet right through all the horses.

"Who the hell are you sir?" asked Elladan.

"Well, whoever he is I'm goin to beat the crap out of him!" cried Butterbur preparing his knives.

"Well, I'm Van Helsing. I killed Dracula and all. So, I'm going to try-out in the try-outs!" said the tall figure.

"Ok, you're in!" said Elrohir while the 6 new companions went out of Bree.

The Prancing Pony closed down, and the company tried to decide where they will go to next.

"Err… next stop for the Justice League is Rivendell!"

"Well, why not call ourselves the vampire slayers!" suggested Van.

"That's retarded," said the elf prince.

So the company went off from Bree, all the way to Rivendell…


	3. Chapter 3

THE LORDS OF OTHER RINGS

A/N: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHRACTERS EXCEPT FOR A FEW

I GOT IT FROM TOLKIEN'S BOOKS AND OTHERS LIKE BRAM STOKER AND OTHER MOVIE GUYS

OK AFTER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME OF TRAVEL (THAT'S LONG) WE'VE REACHED THE END OF PART 1: THEY SET OUT

SO HERE GOES:

CHAPTER 3: A WALK THROUGH THE FORD

Well our unfortunate companions have traveled long and far from Bree and still a long way to Rivendell. They don't watch the news but Rohan apparently is trying to take Eriador and Arnor for themselves. Well, nobody messes with the Rohirrim and their drunken ponies so caution.

But the Justice League of nothingness continue their journey on Rivendell. On their way they met up with some rohirrim guards who weren't doing their job well, because getting drunk on the job is never a job well done.

"What the maki'n a child are Rohirrim doing in here," claimed the elf prince.

"This land is our now, you got a problem with that?"

"Yes we do!" said Van Helsing with that Aragorn "brave kingly" voice who shoots the two.

"You know, you remind me so much of my boyfriend from Gondor, too bad it ain't you," said the elf prince.

"Legolas, you gay maggot come on, the Rohirrim are going to get us then bring us to their prisons take our weapons off, send us to prison interrogate us torture using water torture then whip us like hell then strip us naked (to this Legolas giggled) in public then burn us to…"

"Well said Gimli, but now is not the time let us hurry!" cried Elladan.

The company slowly (real slow) rushed through the woods but as feared the Rohirrim heard the gun shots and started to follow them.

They were chased down like rats and cats, they tried to shoot the company with arrows and spears slash them with swords, slice them with chainsaws, and break them with maces. None of these attempts failed but the company was still alive and bleeding.

"Oh god, my face, my beautiful, beautiful face, (now the next part sounds the crying guy winning)it all bloody and broken!"exclaimed the elf prince.

To their delight they reached the end of the woods to the ford of Bruinen. I don't know what exactly a ford is so they chased each other until they reached a castle on a river (literally) that was a Gondor outpost, luckily the company took refuge there and alarmed everyone, even the women and children and cattle to go to war, to which they agreed.

Thus was the first battle (more of second skirmish) of the company. Well long story short Legolas merely sat on the ground and whined about his face stabbing anyone in anger with arrows. Gimli chopped some guys. Elladan and Elrohir raided the taverns for "supplies," while Van ran out of ammo; that's disappointing.

After the battle they had a celebration in which they met up with a similar figure, Faramir. Well, The rest weren't really in the mood but Legolas was the only who tried to convince the Gondorian captain to join them in their pointless quest.

Meanwhile Van and the elf twins discussed on something, "I'm out of ammo, I'm totally defenseless, I'm just going to have to quit this, but I'll find a replacement, somehow."

After this Van left but Gimli and the elf twins talked on something else, "I don't get you two, why do people adore a 4 age old gay elf just because he was portrayed by a hot actor?"

"Elladan, he didn't!"

"He just did Elrohir."

"Gimli, you just called…a man…hot…"

To this Gimli went crazy like a drunk man and started running around vomiting.

"OH NO I LOST MY MANHOOD!"

"Gimli lost his what?" asked Elladan.

"His…preciouses."

"Elrohir, men only have one."

"Ooh…so I am overcharged with testosterone…"

"Better give some to Legolas."

"Good idea!"

Well Faramir joined the crew & they continued their somehow meaningless quest to search out the remaining rings.

OK I'M OUT OF IDEAS BUT THE NEXT LOCATION IS RIVENDELL AND I'M GOING TO POST PART 2 ON A SEPARATE POST…


End file.
